Topless Adventures in Malta

14 May 2015 ·

So this morning’s walk ended up with me topless in a random back garden. Who knew!

The regular ‘get up early and go for a trek and meditate’ took us to Fomm ir Rihh. Gorgeous cliffs and energetic land 10 mins from home. Adventure time. We decided to walk the top way around the cliffs, not down to the path. Ended up cutting through farmers fields (taking care to not tread on tilled land) and through bushy vegetation. The only issue was the drop down to the path of several stories high.

After attempting an almost vertical way and ending up clutching at crumbling rock with my fingertips with a sheer drop below me I joined Greta on her less severe slope down. Everything looked good for 5 mins then we ended up butt sliding our way down the next 2 stories high on a slope of dust, a fab walk along the coast and over rocks on the shoreline ended up in a well deserved sweat relieving plunge into the crystal clear water.

Now I am not sure what happened next but somehow after a little free diving and meditation I ended up with no top. A little extra rock scrabbling around the area but it was no where to be seen! Greta had gone up early and so I was alone and topless at the base of the cliffs. I clambered back along the rocks and found some steps, up a different way to Greta and found myself heading past a private property sign (not uncommon in Malta).

As I turned the corner I found a beautiful villa that I was happily walking into, in my shorts and hiking boots, with breasts akimbo. The car number plate told me her name was Sue. I was hoping she was nice. And naked friendly! Hoping she was busy inside and not looking out her very posh windows as I walked boldly through her garden. I took the first opportunity to remove myself from her ‘private property’ and climbed over her perimeter wall, to find myself at the top of the cliff that Greta had been heading toward. As I edged my way along the narrow gap between the wall and the cliff edge becoming aware that there was no way out but a sheer drop below me. I heard a ‘hello’ and found Greta clutching at rock trying to get over a bunch of barbed wire below the cliff face. She couldn’t get a good foot hold and there was no other way up. What Divine luck I had ended up exactly on top of the same section of cliff! I leaned over and she took my hands and we got her over the barbs onto where I was standing.

There were now two options. 1 go back over the wall and through Sue’s house ‘inconspicuously’ or 2. try walking along the perimeter wall and drop off the other end once we were past the sheer drop. We went for 2. The wall turned out to be too high to drop. Ironically ‘Sue’ came out of her backdoor while we were standing upright on the perimeter wall. I acted cool. We both froze. She didnt even notice. Just shook her duster and back inside!  Option left… 1.

So back along the perimeter wall and dropped into her very well kept garden again. We walked through the garden to the back gate. With an air of ‘nothing to see here’ and thankfully the gate latch was unlocked. We were out! Then just a little 5 minute walk to my car. Still in boots and shorts.

Thankfully I am not shy.

Got to love the morning treks haha

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